Rediscovering My Love for Fashion
I've always been a confident person – both socially and professionally. I was a social butterfly, walking into any setting with self-assurance, feeling great about my outfit choices. Back then, heels were my go-to. Sneakers and flats? Not for me. I loved the way heels made me feel powerful and stylish.
But life has a way of shifting priorities. After becoming a wheelchair user, once of the hardest adjustments was letting go of my love for heels. I had to embrace a new style, which meant building confidence in sneakers, flat boots, and other footwear I never would have considered before. It wasn't easy at first. It felt like a process of trial and error.
For example, I tried Jordan Dunks because they're undeniably cute and come in so many colors, but they hurt my feet after a while – especially since I have to account for fluid buildup in my ankles from sitting for extended periods. My go-to sneakers now are New Balance and Asics. They offer a range of styles and colors that make them easy to pair with outfits while keeping me comfortable.
Footwear trends have shifted, too. Since COVID-19 kept everyone at home, people got used to being in loungewear, and now many of my friends also prefer more practical show options. Heels are no longer a must for social outings, and short heels and wedge boots are back in style. I've even found boots that work well with my wheelchair, allowing me to stand and transfer to a car or restroom with ease.
Reinventing My Wardrobe
Clothing was another challenge. Sitting in a wheelchair changes how clothes fit and feel, and I didn't want to feel sloppy or uncomfortable. Fortunately, I found inspiration from a YouTuber who is also a wheelchair user. She explained how to style outfits so they look flattering while seated. Her advice? High-waisted jeans or leggings paired with crop tops or sweaters. This style creates the illusion of an elongated silhouette and defines your shape, even while seated.
After that, I made some wardrobe changes. I stocked up on high-waisted jeans that look good whether I'm sitting or walking. I pair them with crop tops, sweaters, and if it's cold, an oversized denim jacket or cardigan. I prioritize comfort now, too. Jogger sets have become a wardrobe staple for me. If a set doesn't come with a cropped sweater, I'll get creative – tucking in an oversized sweatshirt to create a cropped look.
These changes have helped me rebuild my confidence. When you feel good in your clothes, it shows.
Navigating Confidence in Public Spaces
Being in a wheelchair draws attention. People stare, and that's something I had to learn to accept. I don't mind when kids do it – I know they're just curious. But when adults stare, it can feel uncomfortable. It's one of the biggest mental hurdles I've had to overcome.
At first, I would avoid eye contact. I'd look down as I passed people, feeling self-conscious. But I've been working on that. I started doing daily affirmations to remind myself that I'm beautiful and that using a wheelchair isn't something to be ashamed of. It's a process, but it's working.
Now, I hold my head high. I make eye contact and smile at people when I pass them. I've realized that showing confidence can shift how people perceive you. When they see you embracing your situation, it changes the energy of the interaction.
Prioritizing Mental Health
Adjusting to life after a traumatic experience isn't just about physical changes – it's about mental wellness, too. I struggled with the "Why me?" question for a long time. In the early days, I had to disconnect from everything, even social media. Watching others live their lives while I was in inpatient rehab felt too painful.
My mom encouraged me to start journaling, and it turned out to be a lifeline. Writing became a way to process my feelings when it felt like no one truly understood what I was going through. I still journal to this day, and it keeps me grounded.
I also tried art therapy, which was something completely new for me. I'll admit that I'm no artist, but the process was healing in its own way. Art therapy allowed me to express feelings I couldn't put into words. It's something I think anyone going through a major life change should consider, along with traditional talk therapy. Having someone to talk to who isn't biased or emotionally attached to you can make all the difference.
Rebuilding confidence isn't an overnight process. It takes patience, self-reflection, and a lot of self-love. From learning to style new shoes and outfits to navigating mental health challenges, I've discovered that confidence isn't about perfection – it's about acceptance. Every day, I'm learning to love and accept my body as it is now, not as it was before.
If you're going through something similar, just know that you're not alone. Whether it's the clothes you wear, the shoes you choose, or the thoughts you feed yourself daily, remember this: you are worthy, capable, and absolutely deserving of confidence and joy.
About the Author
Demetria Stitts is a 43-year-old woman who became disabled at 39 after the surgical removal of a rare brain tumor on her spinal cord left her paralyzed from the waist down. A single mother of two adult children, she has regained much of her independence with the help of her wheelchair. Despite the challenges, Demetria continues to drive, work out, and lead an active life, working and traveling with friends and family. She remains determined not to let her disability hinder her from living life to the fullest.
Demetria's ride is a QUICKIE Nitrum.
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